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ANECDOTES AND HOW TO'S FROM THE GIRL YOUR MOM SUGGESTED YOU STOP HANGING OUT WITH

How To Counter Act A Bad Day/Year

I’m an insanely positive person. Know why? Because I force myself to be that way. It’s not natural. I was born pessimistic just as I was born with A+ blood. But through loads of introspection and demon-facing, I’ve found out how to turn my frown upside down when dealing with the bullshits of life. Wanna know how? That’ll be twenty dollars.

                         

1) Cry
Yup! If something is upsetting you, then cry if you want. It’s no big deal. Now don’t turn in to a blubbering idiot in front of your boss because she turned down your idea for a larger selection of Keurig flavors in the break room. However, if you are genuinely upset due to stress or a soul crushing life-happening or after watching the beginning of the Pixar film UP, then cry. If you don’t get a good cry out every now and then, it’ll constipate your soul. Gross.

2) Drink
A good bourbon puts a smile on my face. But always in moderation, folks. No wine in a coke can. No beer in a McDonalds cup. That’s when it becomes a problem. If I hear any one of you is drinking beer through a straw in public, I’m going to revoke this tip and pour the whole thing on to your lap. And only drink after 5 o’clock. AM or PM is up to you. And there’s your loophole, ladies and gents.

3) Complain
Got friends? Surely you do. A great way to shed the stresses of the day is to dump them on someone else. What are friends for? Just invite them to dinner and they will have unknowingly opened the flood gates to your pity party. I’m feeling better just thinking about it.

4) Meditate
A great way to do this is to create a calm and relaxing environment, light some candles, and then watch TV. Am I doing it right?

5) Get Away From It All
Sometimes it helps to just go out for a drive, or take a weekend vacation. Don’t have a car? Then consider hitchhiking or hopping on a cargo train. It’s not only cheap and convenient, but it’s also VERY safe.

Alright, that’ll do ‘er. You’re welcome, everyone. I accept cash only so, ya know…whenever you have it on you.

  1. xohollyhox posted this