Adventures In Pet Sitting
I’m pet sitting for a friend this week. She has OnDemand and a tempurpedic bed. I’m amazed she’s even paying me. I might as well be at the Hilton. And she left me some bourbon. Is this real life?
I’ll be taking care of 2 of about the cuttest goddamn dogs you ever knew, so that’s a plus. Puppy Cuddle Puddles! Then later, undoubtedly cleaning up poop and puke. That cuddling doesn’t come for free.
I was actually a professional pet sitter for a short period of time in college. It was a great job until the owner sold the company to some dog show obsessed weirdos who ran it in to the ground. I also volunteered for two years at a organization that trained service dogs for people with disabilities. I can train your dog to pick up whatever you drop, make your bed, and use an ATM to get you some beer money. Just kidding, whatever you drop is your own problem.
So this week should be fun.
It has started a bit rough, however. I think I’ve got some kind of stomach bug. Nothing a little Mad Men and powerade can’t fix, I’m sure. And if it’s anything worse, I’ll just dehydrate and die. Or maybe the dogs will call for help. Using my iPhone. Goddamn, dogs are so smart.
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